A Compromise: Smoking Outside the Home

Sharing a residence with someone often raises a variety of issues, but when a smoker and non-smoker live together, compromise is a must or the co-residency is not going to work out. Both people paying the mortgage or the rent must be in agreement on the rules they set regarding cigarette smoking. One way of compromising is to allow smoking outside the home while keeping the home interior smoke-free. This way, everyone can be happy and nobody is going to be pushed into quitting a habit they are not ready to give up.

When the time comes that the smoker wants to have a cigarette, the partners or roommates are going to appreciate the fact that the smoker goes outside for it.  That’s because smoking outside offers many benefits to both parties sharing a residence.
Smoking outside the house
For the non-smoker, the benefits include not having to smell something they find unappealing. What’s more, they don’t have to see ashtrays filled with butts. As cigarette smoke can also cause staining to furnishings and décor, it is an added bonus to not have it inside the home. The smoker will also find this beneficial, as they also live in the home.

For the smoker, he or she can enjoy some alone time when smoking outside. This can be very beneficial when first getting home from work or before going to bed. Another benefit is not having to hear any more complaints about smoking inside the house.

The smoker may find it frustrating to go outside every time they want a cigarette, but it does not have to be that way. To eliminate any resentment, do your best to set up a smoking area where the smoker can relax and enjoy him or herself. The patio can make a great place to go when the smoker wants a relaxing environment. If you live in a location that has cold winter weather, you may want to set up a small area in your garage. Adding a comfortable chair will help create a private nook. For the smoker, choosing to go outdoors when they want a cigarette can be tough, but if they spend enough time creating a comfortable smoking area for themselves, they may just find that they look forward to going outside.

If the smoker still finds that they are not too happy about the fact that they cannot smoke inside the home, they should think about how much easier it is to compromise on the issue. Smokers should also consider how things could turn out if they chose to break the rules that have been agreed upon together. Arguing about something like smoking could turn into a more serious argument. This is not good for any relationship and is worse if children are involved.

The fact is that smokers and non-smokers can live together, as long as each one is willing to compromise on the issues, even though they may be on opposite sides.

For more detailed information about living with a smoker, read How a Smoker and Non-Smoker Can Live Together.

Talking to Your Partner About Smoking At Home

When a smoker and a non-smoker cohabitate, it can be difficult to come to a compromise regarding how much smoking is permitted within the home. However, when a couple comes together with the goal of settling on a workable compromise that will take the needs and preferences of each person into consideration, they are more likely to agree on a solution to their problem.

When couples do not talk about important matters, resentment can begin to fester. Rather than viewing the problem as something that the couple can work out together, the problem becomes associated with negative feelings. The smoker may feel like he or she has no respite from people complaining about their habit. The non-smoker may feel that their feelings are being disregarded. Talking provides the necessary bridge to link the two individuals together so that they can focus on a mutual goal.

When the couple is negotiating on the how, when and where of smoking, they can focus on a few matters that are relevant to the debate. Some issues will be more negotiable than others.

For example, some rental units do not allow tenants to smoke. City ordinances continue to become stricter and some communities have successfully passed rules that forbid homeowners from smoking in the premises when air from one unit can enter the other units to which it is adjoined. If the couple has children, the smoker may need to limit his smoking around the children. These matters may dictate the terms of the agreement between the couple.

But for many other issues, the ideal method of negotiation between the couple is to meet in the middle. The person who smokes may want to be allowed to smoke more frequently and in more locations throughout the home. The person who does not smoke may want to limit the amount of smoke in the home.

A few agreements that may be struck between the cohabitants are that the person who smokes will only smoke outdoors, the person will smoke in an isolated room that the non-smoker does not frequent, or the person who smokes will refrain from smoking within thirty minutes of the time that the person who does not smoke arrives home.

These small compromises will allow the person who smokes to continue to smoke while creating a few boundaries for the person who does not smoke. Investing in candles, incense, and other scents will also help mask the smell of smoke and can reduce the tension between the couple.

Millions of people continue to smoke. As laws become increasingly strict, these individuals will rely more on their ability to smoke at home. When a couple tries to protect the health of the person who does not smoke, creates respectful boundaries for the time and location of smoking, and allows the continuance of smoking, the couple is likely to reach an agreement that they can uphold.

For more detailed information about what to negotiate about, read How a Smoker and Non-Smoker Can Live Together.

Yes. Smokers and Non-smokers Can Cohabitate

It is extremely common for smokers and non-smokers to live together in the same house or apartment. This can arise in many situations – where housemates with different smoking habits just happen to find themselves living together, in families, or with couples (married or otherwise) that are cohabitating. This being the case, it can help to have some strategies in mind so that these different habits don’t become a domestic problem.

Smoker and non-smoker

But before we look at these let’s look on the bright side and see why it’s great to live together peaceably:

A peaceful household, as almost anyone who has had to live in an argumentative one will agree, is a blessing to everyone who lives in it. Good communication results in peaceful exchanges and a generally light, fun, and creative atmosphere in which to live. Being free from arguments allows people to focus on other things – things that really matter to them.

People with poor communication and conflict resolution skills can end up arguing over almost anything – cigarette smoke, for instance. Why make these arguing points when you would much rather be involved in happy and friendly interactions, creative projects, and enjoyable leisure?

So if cohabitating peacefully is such a great idea, how do you bring this about if you’ve got smokers and non-smokers in the same house? Well to begin with, one of the most important things to do is to talk about things, in this case how each person feels about smoking. Perhaps one person simply won’t mind the other smoking in the house at all, while someone else may have a real objection to it. In some cases there may be stipulations on a lease as to whether smoking is allowed in a building, regardless of the preferences of the occupants. It is important to be fully informed about these specifics by simply discussing them – preferably at the outset of the period of living together.

You may also wish to have some actual rules regarding smoking in the household. These may come from some legal agreement itself, such as a lease, or may be simply agreed upon by occupants. Perhaps you will want to agree on certain areas (the porch or someone’s room for example) where smoking is allowed and others where it isn’t. This should be done in a friendly and cooperative manner rather than a heavy handed way.

Smoking is a personal choice and should not become an excuse for anger and upset even if there are rules in place. Both a smoker and a non-smoker have the right to their choices and rules are only there to make it easier for people to organize the way they deal with these lifestyle differences.

Once the rules are in place, they should be followed to the best of everyone’s ability. Again, if someone slips up, it should be discussed in a friendly way rather than argued over. By making sure everyone understands and agrees to rules and boundaries, members of the household will usually follow them. If not, the rule can be discussed a little more to make sure everyone knows what to expect and why the rule is important.

Making rules is about listening to the needs and wishes of each person involved and reaching an amicable compromise. This allows everyone who is a smoker as well as each non-smoker in the house the maximum amount of freedom to have the environment the way they want it. The goal is for everyone to have an enjoyable and happy home environment and to feel as free to be themselves as possible. Everyone will be happy if they make good, interactive, reasonable rules regarding smoking in the shared environment.